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taegularities · 10 months ago

Text

colour me in: commentary (script)

⋙ wc: 7.3k⋙ a/n: sooo, i figured some don't have the time to listen to a 73 mins audio, so i wrote out this script if it's easier for some of y'all! of course it'd be great if you still support the commentary and listen whenever you're able to, since that was the point of an audio commentary and it was quite a bit of work 😮‍💨 but i hope this is helpful for busy bees like me <3 took me 2 hours to script like i thought it'd be easier than that lmao 😭 i even made a banner!! is it pretty 😁 in any case, enjoy and give it lotsa love and let me know your thoughts to my thoughts if you'd like! 🤍

Tiny glimpses into what was and what will be.

Went through it all one by one. Thank you to everyone who sent something in!! Enjoy!! <3

By Axelle/ @jkaxl

If cmi wasn’t written "for" kookoo, which member do you think the story would have been suitable for?

Honestly, it truly did start out as a Kook story, so there was never anyone else I even considered. But if I had to switch members, or think of switching members, Ii’d probably choose Joon? Purely because I feel like he as the ultimate comfort person vibe that would fit that comforting role well, too. Or Tae, because of the initial fuckboy/friends with benefits trope. I feel like he’s a good choice for that in general. Honestly cannot imagine CMI as a Jin or Hobi or Yoongi story. Maybe Jimin. But then I'd have to change his major, which circles back to me not being able to imagine anyone but Jungkook in this role — because I don’t quite see Jimin as an arts major. Do you guys? Have you guys read an artist!Jimin thing before? I’d be curious to know! So yeah, the artist bit and colours are just so important for CMI, so I guess I’d stick with Tae or Joon, yep.

Be honest!!!! Your favorite scene so far as a writer pov AND as a reader pov (cause of course you read your stuff after writing it :)

Gosh, honestly, I do get scared rereading my stuff. So for example, with Blooming, I spent hours editing the same scene, so I never reread a single word after posting it, because I’m so scared of rereading and finding more mistakes in it. Like, when I was editing it, I was constantly wondering… Does any of this even make sense? As an example, when Jungkook was talking about liking waking up early in the morning now, those were around six-ish paragraphs, but I spent hours editing them!

But anyways, that’s not what you asked. Very interesting question though, because i've never thought about it like this before.

If I had to answer spontaneously…

I’d say, from a writer’s point of view, the pregnancy scare. Because I know, they felt terrible, but writing about their worries and how they handled it and fought the fear together was what I loved the most. I also got the chance to be dramatic, which is something I would never not do. I had been excited about it for quite a while – and with quite a while I mean summer 2021, when I came up with CMI. I've always wanted to include a pregnancy scare.

Also the flashbacks in Blurred since I very much enjoy switching between the past and present. But with this one, I wasn’t sure if it would work out. But I think I managed, and it came out nicely, especially with the outline I had for it. This is something I’d actually reread! I don’t know, I just really love diving into their past, and how their relationship started and bloomed.

And from a reader’s pov, I’d say the dark alley scene in Monochrome. Which is kind of self-explanatory, so many of you liked it, and honestly… same. But also a couple scenes in Lights, especially when Jungkook calls her while drunk. He could’ve spent time with his family and was incredibly busy, but was still just craving that one phone call to tell her that he’d burnt his finger before she went to sleep. And when she asks whether that was all he needed to tell her, he responds with, “No, also to tell you that I missed you.” Which gives me heart eyes even after one year and a half!

I also just love Blooming as a whole. It made me realise how much I love writing fluff and how it comes just as easily to me as sad stuff, which I thought was the thing I was the best at. But I feel like I’m not that bad at writing cute things either? Lol, and I really hope you felt how much I adored writing it, too.

Which is also why I’m so so so excited for CMI12, I've said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a million times more, but still… it's called Palette, by the way! And it's gonna be great! I hope—

Are we going to see more of hobi?

Mmmh. Not as an important character. I know he’ll come back in some way… but he won’t really be important anymore. Cannot quite say the same about Nara though, so prepare thyselves 😀

Kookoo, which one : cuddles or kisses?

Oh, he’s the kisses guy. OC is the one who does cuddles and would be more than alright spending her entire day, or the rest of her life, in his arms. But he’s the kissy kinda guy, because they waited quite a bit for this, and now he’d be damned if he ever let her breathe again. Also, I do think he’s a very physical touch kinda person; he loves hugging and touching her in general. She is also a very physical, but she’s more into cuddling, and he just he likes kissing her. A lot, a lot.

By Alyssa/@wintrbears

What is your plot-planning process? Do you make a formal outline of the whole story/every chapter, etc. Do you outline it in your head only but know what will happen from beginning to end? or do you start with a general idea and create the plot as you write?

Both, I’d say! I usually have a general plot in my head, but not the details. So for example: I knew I wanted the pregnancy scare and the confession to happen in chapter 11, in Translucent, but I hadn't planned the dialogues yet. Or that his mom would come over. Orrrr, the scene with them chilling under the stars he glued to the ceiling or the projection of the Mikrokosmos lamp. Which only happened because I was rereading Layers and it mentioned the lamp, and I was like, “Riiiight, that still exists! I need to give it some importance!”

So these details come to me as I write. Or at least, when I'm doing the outline. It just flows out of me as if they’re real, like I'm not even kidding, the story writes itself. The characters are alive! Sometimes I reread my outlines a couple days later and I’m like, “Damn, he did not say that. I did not make them say that!”

And then I blush and giggle and internally panic just like OC does.

So yeah basically, I have an idea of what I want to do, and then when I start outlining, the scenes come to me automatically. I usually do know the beginning and ending of a chapter beforehand, though. So yeah, as I said I'm aware of what the general plot will be. A lot of the scenes you guys love and cherish and hold close to your hearts as favourites… were some I hadn’t planned until I started forming words in the document.

how did you first think of the plot/idea for CMI? what initially inspired and now inspires you to write it?

Hah… Funny story, so what inspired me to write it was that one VCR from their MOTS: One concert. Do you guys still remember that one? Where he’s sitting in that white suit and smearing that pitch black colour over his mouth and smirking through it for no reason at all. And Tae was doing something similar and… yeah, they scarred and fucked me up for life. And I wanted to write… Well, first I was going to go for a smut drabble series. And then it turned into a fic that needed to include a body painting scene? Which we eventually got in CMI5, The Canvas. OC does the colour smearing, too!

Then I kinda started building a plot around it and wondered what could lead to such a smut thing at all. So at some point I was like… okay. Arts student jk, business student OC. They need to fall in love, but will have to fight a lot of hurdles and misunderstandings, and there will be a body painting scene at some point and a drunk scene in which JK picks her up from a club, in whichever context. Stuff like that.

Back in 2021, I didn’t even have a title for the series and – fun fact, I was going to call it Love Won’t Let Me Leave, per a friend’s suggestion (@incorrectlyspn mwah <3). But then I realised that it was a bit long and another friend (@agustdakasuga mwah pt2 <3) suggested including a reference to colours? And then I thought of Colour Me In and was like, yep. That’s the one.

Okay, you got more than you asked for, I apologise, I just always love talking about them :D

How do you decide what type of personality OC will have? does it depend on the type of plot you want to write or does the character’s personality guide the plot?

Once again, love the question, because I appreciate people talking and asking about the OC. Most of us read fics for the boys, but it’s very cool to stay for the other characters, such as OC, too! It does something to my heart.

So… again, both! OC was always going to be soft and fun; a lil scarred but still optimistic and someone who loves deeply. I kinda got away from that personality once she and JK broke up and all that stuff with her mother happened.

‘Cause obviously, it was quite a burden to bear and she was sad for a while. But now that things are looking up, I'm hoping to get back to who she truly is, and I think… or I hope, it’ll make you guys love her a lot, too.

Also, looking at their relationship and their bickering, I think that bit also contributed to how I see and describe OC. Like, they’re a wild but also a very gentle couple, and the joy that they find in each other kinda shapes their personalities, too. Does that make sense? It makes sense in my head haha.

I think they’re more hopeful and more open and more tender now. They’ve learned what love really is. A lot of my OCs were or are sad though, but I want to explore more personality types, despite all that sorrow. Like… I don’t just want them to be sad, because she’s not generally a sad person. You saw that in Blooming. If she gets the chance to be happy, she is happy!

Same with Entertainer — the OC is sad, but I want her to be more than that. Mysterious and so on. And yeah, same with my CMI sweetheart.

AND fun side question: do you have a name for OC in your head besides “Y/N.” I have been conditioned to say my name when I see “Y/N” so i’m wondering if you say Rid while reading it or if you think of another name or no name at all. Do you ever picture yourself as your OCs since it’s technically reader x Jungkook.

No, I never read it as Y/N, and frankly, I stopped using that term a loooong time ago. Now I just say, “He calls your name, he whispers your name” etc. Like if you ever read my stuff, you’ll notice that I don’t use Y/N, or anything.

But I don't replace it with my name either. I know we’re supposed to put ourselves in the lead’s shoes, but I can't help but see her as her own person. She’s so separated from me, she’s like a friend to me. There are moments where I imagine standing there with him, or talking to him. But in general, she’s her own person, and in my head, I call her… OC, tbh. It’s her name now, yup.

not specifically CMI related but of all your OCs who do you think is the most like you? if any at all. Do you ever intentionally put pieces of your own personality into your OCs and/or is there one personality trait you always put in your OCs whether intentional or not.

My first thought was… Right Amount of Wrongs and The Diary of a Healing Heart, since they’re kinda based on my own experiences? But then again, we’re talking about experiences here, not about the character itself. If we’re talking personality wise… I'd say Swan from Songs About You. It’s one of my earlier fics from 2021, that I am very fond of. I’ve even heard a couple times that the OC reminds people of me. So I’d pick her. She’s also kind but also a lil fragile and sensitive, but also so strong? Which… thinking about it now, sounds like a brag, okay I know, but. She’s very dear to me, and I identify with her a lot.

The traits I put in my OCs are often… my family issues :’D Like, a lot of them struggled as they grew up, and I had a hard time with my family growing up, too. I love them, of course, and everything’s fine now, but yeah, there are some issues that they fight through that aren’t too unfamiliar to me, unfortunately. As you could tell. Maybe.

I also make them say stuff sometimes that I'd say in a specific situation, or I add a convo I actually had with someone before or witnessed, at least. I don’t know, actually. You guys know me a little? Lol, what do you think? Is there anything you see in my OCs that matches my personality? Actually, very curious to know!

and then fun side question: which of the members of bts do you think you would actually work out with if you tried to date. do you think you and your bias/biases would be good together or is it another member/members you could see yourself with.

I mean, of course I’d choose my bias. JK is like… I'd sell my soul to give him all my love and be loved by him, because I feel like he’d be good at it. Tae is my bias too, but I don't necessarily see myself dating him. Like, of course I would also die to marry that man, but I do think we can be very different. And I feel like JK and I are just a bit more alike when it comes to a couple things.

But aside from my biases? I’d absolutely choose Namjoon.

He might even be my first choice. He’s the comfort I seek in people. He’s poetry on two legs. I feel like he could provide the warmth a lover craves, and truly understand what it means to be patient, loving and honest, too. And he’d know when to trust his heart and when to trust his mind. So yeah. Very much in love with him and the idea of being with him.

Also, you didn’t ask for it, but I do want to say, that with Yoongi – I don’t know if I could date him, but I would very much like to be his best friend in real life. I was just talking about it to a friend today, because I was recommending D-Day to them, and I spoke about how much I relate to this man.

Whenever he talks, it’s like, he’s talking about what I’m feeling or struggling with as well. You guys remember the D-Day documentary, and the ending made me sob. The thing he said about not worrying about the future and past and living in the present time… I know we’ve heard this lecture a hundred times, but the way he phrased it was so… ugh. It got to me, and I still cry when I see gifs of it or rewatch that clip.

By Anon

I found CMI when it had 3 or 4 chapters so I wasn’t here when it began and missed the early asks! Im curious to know what inspired you to write cmi? What was your original intention in terms of the plot (as maybe somethings changed), the length of the story, the characters? Was it JK fic from the very beginning? If you could share your favourite chapter or specific scene, what would it be? My fave so far is defo the pregnancy scare cause im such a softie for caring kook!

So yeah, the intention was to make it a drabble thing. Once I had a proper plot and understood that it wouldn’t just end up consisting of drabbles, I knew it’d get pretty long. I just never thought we’d ever surpass 300k words? Can you believe that? I didn’t think it could have 20-ish chapters either. I was thinking, I don’t like, like 10 or so? But a lot of things have happened and I can't let them go just yet, so… here we are.

The characters! Yes! I was always gonna include the whole gang, and I knew I wanted everyone to play a role in their lives. So we have Yoongi, Tae, Jimin as part of their squad, pretty consistent members of the story. And then there’s Joon as his mentor and boss. Jin as OC’s new co-worker. Hobi as her “ex”, and so on. And yeah, it was JK from the beginning!

I’d also say the pregnancy scare is my favourite so far, but also. To tell you a secret… my actual favourite scenes are yet to come, pun totally intended. So sit tight. I really hope you like them, too! I’ve been planning the upcoming chapters for a bit, so I hope you love them as much as I do <3

By Ari/@wintaerbaer

You totally don't have to answer this if you're not comfortable, but I've always been super curious as to how you go about outlining your ~spicy~ scenes. Is it the same as normal scenes? I'm always so impressed by how yours never get stale and manage to give us something about the characters (especially for cmi), and as someone who's starting to delve into that aspect of writing, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

I’ve told you many times before, but I appreciate it so much that you appreciate the smut scenes, because it’s what I struggle with the most. Like legit, my smut scenes are the last I tackle… It's just very hard to be original and creative with every chapter. It’s not easy for me, so it’s cool you think so.

As to my answer, yeah, I do outline them in bullet point format. It’s an interesting process that I go into with furrowed eyebrows and absolute concentration. Even while writing it, there’s not that much room to be horny, because I'm so focused on phrasing everything well. Different story when I actually edit and reread, but yeah, I swear I do put a lot of effort into these, and TMI, but I also try to include stuff I like or experienced or would like.

Recently, I've also started putting a lot of dialogue in my smut scenes, and I found that it’s a lot of fun, honestly! I’ve learned to let the characters talk more. Because then I'm not stuck on describing every detail, but have them talk about it, too. In some way, at least. The dialogue does help a lot, really. I mean, I don’t know if i succeed, but I try to make the things they say sound natural. I think having them talk and whisper a lot and just be very vocal and interactive helps make the smut less boring. I'm not sure if that helped, but please hit me up if it didn’t!!

By Anon

I would love to know jungkook’s thoughts when he decided to get the forget me not tattoo and during the tattoo session too like did he get anxious about it? did he love oc back then? did he hesitate to get the tattoo?

Super cool question, something I had to think about for a moment!

He was so anxious about it! He doesn’t get nervous about tattoos, since he’s got so many of them. But you know? He wasn’t anxious because he was fearing he was making a mistake, but more ‘cause… he kept wondering what she’d think of it. Like, would it be cringe if he came back with a tattoo that was basically her? Too much? Would she not like that he got it? Or maybe, if she didn’t feel the way he did… would it be extra embarrassing?

But the thing with JK is that, while OC was always very unsure about how he felt about her, he kinda had a hunch about what she might think of him. He saw it in her jealousy about Nara, and how she looked at him in general. He could hide that a bit easier, especially when he spoke about them just being friends. But she was like… even on the phone calls and when they were videocalling in Lights, she was so sad and crying and he was like, “What’s wrong?”

And she said something like, “Please come back.”

Because she needed him with her, and he noticed that craving. So he was a bit more confident. He didn’t love her then but he was falling. And he was falling hard enough to know she’d leave a mark. No matter what was going to happen, he knew she’d affect him long term. In the worst case, it’d be a pretty flower tattoo — Jungkook loves flowers and he adored the way she drew those forget me nots. That helped make him less hesitant. And the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking of her.

Also, they’d become good friends and were getting closer, and he knew that with time, he would eventually fall in love with her. Like, that was very obvious to him, and very… Inevitable? Like, man is seriously obsessed with her.

So to summarise. He didn’t love her yet, but he was in that mess deep enough to know he’d remember her, with or without a tattoo. Other than that, it was also a bit of a souvenir, like a gift for her, too. He wanted to make her happy, and in some way… he wanted to make her fall for him a bit more, too.

By Ivi/@btscontentenjoyer

Okaaaay I have a few because I always love hearing you talk about anything <3 What's a fun moment from the cmi couple's earlier days that we haven't seen and you would like to share, either now or in an additional part one day?

So there’s something I’ve been thinking about… you know how I said I'd be doing drabbles once the main story is over? I want to explore more of their past but a lot of their future, too.

And one of the past scenes is like… OC has a pretty bad day in, like, spring, around March or April which is when it usually gets warmer, too. Jungkook already knows her home life isn’t the best, but he doesn’t ask, because he figures she doesn’t want to talk about it, she never does.

But like, they’re hanging out and he sees her pouting and all. So he suggests going to an amusement park that opened near the centre of the town, and at first, she’s reluctant about it, but he manages to convince her. They do all that couple-y yet platonic stuff, like, trying to win a plushie for the other (which does not work out, but they have fun trying! But JK says something like, “I really had the intention to win this for you today, to make you less sad”, and she’s like, “Okay, but I already feel so much better!” Still giggling and kicking her feet inside).

Then, they go on one of those small ferris wheels thingies? What are they called? Like in The Notebook? And they talk about that Notebook scene as well, where Noah is hanging off the wheel to impress Allie and make her go out with him, and OC is like, “God, as much as I love that movie and his romantic ass… that was such a stupid thing to do!”

And JK was like, “That’s a bummer.” And she’s like, “Why?”

Already clutching his arm in case he does something dumb. And JK, as reckless as he is, goes, “I was gonna climb up there and cheer you up and convince you to admit that I was the better student in business class.”

Of course he wouldn’t have, but she panics and he acts as though he’s about to get up and teases her, and they spent the rest of the ride bickering and laughing. It’s just extremely wholesome, ‘cause OC catches herself not wanting to go home near the end, and she says bye to him very, very hesitantly.

And I think I should stop talking about this, because I feel like I might tear up? Yeah. But I can assure you that there’s… so much I've planned if things go as I intend them to. There’s a lot ahead and we will see a lot more of their past days and everything they’ll be up to after their story is finished.

What's an unnecessary detail or fun fact that you know about a character from cmi but has no relevance to the plot (for example how jungkook likes his coffee or what flavour ice cream is OC's favourite lol)?

UGH, THERE ARE SO MANYYYY!!

You will see a shit ton of those in CMI12 and 13, since these are the perfect chapters to mention these details, but a couple I can tell you are that these two occupy barely one third of the bed. They cuddle into each other; OC generally doesn’t take up much of her bed, didn’t do it in her old home either, because she curls up into a ball. It’s very cute and he loves that a lot, too!

Hm. More fun facts.

Like, the coffee one. JK is a frappuccino kinda guy. OC’s favourite ice cream flavours areeeee… hazelnut, chocolate chip and matcha. She doesn’t go to the zoo often because cute animals make her cry. Also, she believes they do not belong there unless it’s the only chance for their survival. Also enjoys mugs and cups and has filled a cabinet in their kitchen with them. She usually just uses them for tea, of which mint is her favourite, which… she once mentioned to Namjoon and he very much disapproved.

Also… a very small spoiler for the next part — but she can play the guitar a little, aside from the piano, as we saw in one of the earlier chapters. Her dad taught her both of them. She loves DIY projects, but didn’t get a chance or time to try a lot. She wants to, now that she lives with him and isn’t pressured by her parents anymore.

Jungkook on the other hand… his hobbies are different, but he’s just as passionate about them. He likes coffee rather than tea, likes planting his own flowers every now and then, which he learnt back at home, while he discovered that OC does not have a green thumb. She loves getting plants but he takes care of them, because she's killed a few before :’)

He does random karaoke nights, too, and when she’s not too tired, she joins without him even asking. Get you someone who loves you like that! She’s learned that he’s not just a good but excellent singer, and it’s become a habit to ask him to sing her to sleep every now and then. Isabella’s Theme from The Promised Neverland!! Which!! You should totally listen to and that’s totally not because I just watched it, nope nope. Okay but. That’s a lot… you’ll see so much more ahead and I'm so excited.

What past and future 👀👀👀 scene has been the most fun for you to write? Which ones have been the most challenging?

I looooved writing the entire cooking and house tour scene in Blooming. And the pregnancy scare. Andddd the videocalls in Lights. Future scenes… Oh, I see you’re sneaky. Won’t spoil too much, you’ll see, but I wanna say.

Wedding. Mountains. Playing games in teams… and… oh God.

A dancing scene in a much later chapter.

You’ll know when you read it, but it’s one that made me cry the moment I came up with him because the chapter in general will be pretty heavy, and this scene’s gonna involve– quite a few tears. I want to say so much, but I won't. Won’t do a Kim Namjoon and will not spoil! Also the ones I think will be fun but also emotional to write… the last chapter and the last scene.

The one I found extremely challenging was Blue. It explored a lot of grief and past sorrow, and… it was just a lot? And then same with Letters From The Heart. On one hand, because I wrote a chapter fully from his pov for the first time, but also because it was soooo sad, man, what’s wrong with me. Yeah, it was not easy. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be good at all, or would it be boring? But I’m glad you guys loved it so much.

And for some reason, Blooming was hella hard, too. I really don't know why. Which is why I'm so sad it wasn’t as well read as the other chapters, but that’s okay because I really loved it so much. Fingers crossed everyone enjoys Palette!

What is something you learned through the process of writing the series/ through the characters etc.?

Ah okay, try not to cry. If we’re talking writing, I'd say, I've learned that writing a series and keeping it interesting isn’t easy. Even now, I get so nervous. Posting each chapter is nerve wracking, and it never gets any less daunting. But I've learned that there’s so much you can do with a series. You can explore their personalities, their story; you learn how to love and cherish them and make them part of yourself.

And that’s what they are.

They’re such a big part of him, they’re literally tattooed on my skin. And the fact that they affected so many of you, too is— unbelievable. Like. The fact that some of you find joy and comfort in them, and come back to them when you’re sad. That you love them and me and their story so much. I’ve learned that not only are they able to spread warmth in me but in my readers, too?

I treat them as real people now. Dialogues make me cry, thinking about what’s still going to happen makes me emotional and realising that one day their journey with me will end is just. It’s unbelievable. I don’t want it to. By writing about their relationship, I've started yearning for the same level of affection. I want someone to love me like that, and I want to feel as safe as they do.

And by writing JK’s and her characters the way I have been, I've learned how to be kinder, too. They don’t get angry so easily and they learn to accept other people’s flaws and be gentle and loving and sweet, and… yeah, I guess it makes me wanna be better, too. It makes me wanna be brave and more open, less sad.

It’s crazy to think that my own characters can make me feel that way, but I truly have learned a lot. That love can exist, and that hope is important. I’ve always been someone who holds onto hope so much, my entire foundation is built on hope, no matter what happens. And these two show me that it can be worth it to be hopeful. CMI12 especially, or at least its outline, shows me that it’s so, so important to keep going, because there are beautiful things ahead, and I want them all. Want to be here to experience them.

There’s so much more i've learned, but I feel like thinking about it for too long will have me sobbing in no time lol

By Lidia/@baalkoo

do oc or jk have one specific way of showing the other love? like a little touch while eating, letting the other brush their fingers through their hair..

Yeah! He plays with her hair a lot, like he did when his mom came to visit in Translucent, and she’d be talking to OC, and he was touching her hair and curling it around his finger and all.

He also likes her cheeks a lot, and brushing them. Thumb across her cheek, signature move! Like, especially when they’re in bed and talking, he does that sometimes. And he rubs her back whenever she’s stressed. He does it automatically, touching her back or shoulders or cheering her up is something he noticed she likes a lot. With made up secrets like, “Did you know fish throw up, too?” 😀

They also both also love preparing breakfast for the other when they wake up first. So usually, there’s something on the table when the other gets up, unless they wake up at the same time. And OC is a music enthusiast who loves showing him new songs; he’s the one who sings it. She creates playlists for him and names them in kinda weird, kinda endearing ways. One of her playlists are called, “to colour in outlines” — which I think is very cute and a bit of a reference to the sketch book she got him back in Blurred.

By Nat/@cinnamon-roll-peter

I was wondering what inspired you to start writing cmi? if you've already answered that question, what inspires you to write oc and jungkooks relationship the way that you have? have you already planned out what path the story will take until the end? (i never want cmi to end i love it too much 😭)

Already had the first question, but moving to the others — have you seen Brooklyn 99? Because it’s been my latest obsession! But Jake and Amy in it? I love their relationship so much. They’re so supportive, so unproblematic. They do fight and have their differences, but they always find back to each other. And even though CMI has been going far longer than my B99 rewatch, I’ve learned that that’s the relationship I crave and the relationship I want to describe. I always want them to supportive and find home and comfort in each other, too. So watching B99 kinda gave me that extra inspiration lately.

Is that stupid? I don’t know? I’ve been watching love stories lately, like this and Elemental and I want people to love like that all the time.

About the ending — yes, I have! Which makes me sad, because it makes me realise that there’ll be an end to this. But yeah, I know what’ll be happening in the next parts until the very end, and I'm telling you guys, there’s… so much hurt ahead. And so much joy. So much success and failure and missing and yearning and anger. And just. Everything. There’s everything, and seriously, I'm not kidding, so much more than in the first half of the story. Which is why I really hope everyone’s still there when I post the next chapters, because I feel like the first half is nothing compared to what’s still going to happen.

By 🐼✒️ Anon

OC and JK, when did you first know you were head over heels for the other?

OC knew when she saw the tattoo. The distance did help, but the tattoo kinda sealed the deal for her, like she knew… fuck, Im screwed now. There’s no going back to how things were before he went on vacation.

And with him, it was when he got the tattoo, I’d say. Although, I’d say the moment he truly knew how there was no escaping her anymore was when she walked away that night in the dark alley with a simple, “Okay.”

Fun fact! That was a very spontaneous thing to do, it wasn’t in my Monochrome outline. It was a very simple thing, and I didn’t know so many would freak out about it. But I loved the reactions! Loved seeing the messages about people crying about that simple, “Okay.” And I think it affected him just as much.

He panicked and was like, “Fuck, I do not want to lose her.”

But it was his doing, so he just. Watched her walk away.

OC, how was your relationship with your parents while growing up? Did you feel supported and loved enough from them? How did that affect your self esteem, and relationships with other people?

There’ll be more info on that as we move on, but… it wasn’t always bad. There were good moments when she was a child, but things got worse the older she got and the more they noticed she was approaching an age where she’d be able to inherit the company. So, her teenage years were difficult.

They neglected her feelings a lot, and mostly focused on training her. She lost some of the joys of being a teen, so that’s where things got… bad. Before that, she was their little girl and it wasn’t as bad. But more on that later, because her story with her parents isn’t over yet.

Her relationship with them was like. They supported her, but in a wrong way. Her studies, and wanting her to build a career at their company. They thought that was them supporting her. But she’s always wanted to be a writer which didn’t get any acknowledgement. She wishes they gave that more attention, too. Other than that, as she said in Blooming, she wishes her father would’ve stood by her side more. To defend her, to love her. Etc.

So, her self esteem was definitely affected by that, and her relationship with others… like, she’s a bubbly and open girl, but she does get insecure sometimes. It took her so long to understand that JK felt the way he felt about her. Or that she was worthy of love, and that someone actually wanting to be with her was real and not something that’d end in doom.

She was scared because he left her once already, and she still sometimes fears he’ll do it again. So that’s definitely an effect of feeling alone as she grew up. But let’s hope he’s able to eliminate all those thoughts moving forward and loves her well enough to show her she’s more than worth the affection she gets.

OC and JK, how is it like living with each other? Do you ever annoy each other (or are yall still loveydovey in honeymoon phase)?

It’s challenging, but it’s also lovely. I guess the challenging bit comes from them annoying each other, because there are quite a few things that rile them up sometimes. You might remember from Seven, but they both have little quirks, like him constantly smacking his lips or not cleaning up his working space after drawing and painting. Or her not gathering her documents after working at the desk etc. There’s stuff they need to adjust to and get used to, but it’s also things they’re able to talk about most of the time. Like, they don’t fight about them and converse and talk them out. The more time passes, the more they’ll get used to each other. They will fight, but that’s normal, I guess!

But since they’ve just moved in together, most of the time, they’re still basking in that honeymoon glow.

OC and JK, tips for hopeless romantics out there who have never had any romantic/sexual experiences?

So first of all, they’re giving you a hug. They want to tell you to be patient. We find love when we don’t seek it. There’s a soulmate out there for all of us, and they’re looking for you just the way you’re looking for them because they want to be loved just the way you want to, too. Vibe with your life until they cross it. You’re someone who deserves to be loved and adored and worshipped, so please know you won’t be disappointed. And then, with romance comes sexual experience.

It might take some time, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t settle for less than you desire and for less than you deserve; but it’ll come to you. Just be yourself and be patient and things will be oaky! <3

Rid, what inspired you to write this story? Do you relate to it on a personal level? What helps/facilitates the writing process for you?

What inspired me was just that VCR from their MOTS: One concert, but. I stuck with it because of the love and comfort it radiates, even for me. There are so many aspects of it that I relate to on a personal level — like, the slight trauma she carries from growing up with a strict family. Or being scared of being left alone. The fear of loneliness and hurt… I'm someone who gets very nervy when it comes to love and stuff, and I'm always, always so scared of everyone leaving, be it in real life or virtually?

I crave love the way these two crave love, because I love loving, and I want to know what it feels to be loved just the same way, too. So yeah. Uhm. I don’t know, that got very sentimental very fast, but. That’s what it is!

Every other thing, like the story and stuff that happens in general comes from their own story. Even though there will be a bit more ahead that comes from personal experience, but most of them is their own thing.

What helps me facilitate the writing process is just. Knowing how much I love them. And the excitement of moving towards some amazing chapters. Also the fact that the story means as much to some people as it does to me. The fact that some wait for it or feel comforted by it. Or that it makes their day or helps them get through their days. It’s just very exciting and rewarding.

Rid, what is the first piece you've ever written? How long have you been writing, and what's your first inspiration? (i used to write when i was in middle school but stopped along the way, and ive thought about slowly picking it up again :") do you have any tips?)

I would just advise you to start! Make an outline or whatever helps you get started. Maybe a character sheet, the story in a couple bullet points that you can expand on. But the most important advise I like to give is to just get started. I also only read back in late 2020 and a friend then suggested to write and post the story I was planning back then. Didn’t know where it’d get me, but here we are. If you’d like to see more advise, you can also browse through my tag “writing tips”. I don’t know if it’s helpful at all, but maybe you can read through them!

The first fic I ever wrote for Tumblr was The Diary of a Healing Heart, which I've now revamped and reposted. But if we’re talking in general? It was a book I wrote with 2 friends called ‘The Camp’. Some fantasy/time travel/romance thing? I would never publish it though because I was 14 back then, and I alsoooo wrote it in another language. I got very inspired by the books I read, especially romance stories and stuff, but oh my God. Would never reread or I’d die.

thank you so much if you read this <3 sending much love to all who participated and everyone in general!! all support is appreciated. if you want, come and talk to me or say whatever's on your mind! love you <3

colour me in – commentary | jjk (m)

⋙ pairing: Jungkook x reader ⋙ rating: 18+ ⋙ content and warnings: mention of toxic relationships (parents), mention of cmi spoilers, heartbreak, love, difficult childhood, mention of smut, teeny tiny spoilers, talk about future and past chapters, future and past scenarios, additional info on the characters and the story, plot background, general behind the scenes, thought and writing process. so many pauses and stuttering im sorry lol 😭 sorry for mispronounced words!! also i'm sick, so pls bear with my potentially confused mind ajsfhjas <3 ⋙ length: 73 minutes ⋙ a/n: that was ☠️ so much fun but my voice is gone lol. i hope the stuff i said make sense and that you enjoy me rambling!! even if you just listen to parts of this, i'm eternally grateful!! and let me know what you think, too? would loveee to know what you think of my thoughts lol 🥺 if you've more questions, drop by anytime!! ily <3

⋙ part of the colour me in series ⋙ listen to the commentary here!

#here's the script for those who might not have the time to listen to the audio <3 #will be back for asks! love you and good night <3 #fic: colour me in

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stedesparasol · 4 months ago

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For those asking for deets, I'm gonna adapt the run-down I sent to my friend - there are some details of the show as well as meeting the guys afterwards, so skip the paragraphs with asterisks if you don't want spoilers for the podcast (atm they're undecided as to whether they're releasing all of the live show recordings so it may never be released but just in case) ✌️

Also gonna be linking to some tweets by jodegg for the visuals of it all (she was sitting next to me and took pics) but she's also tweeted a few more specific things the guys said afterwards so if you're curious definitely check out her other recent tweets!

Ok, so as you'll all know, they'd been at Loch Ness that day which is 3 hours away from Edinburgh, and they made it back 15 minutes before soundcheck so they were soooooo stressed, they'd even been planning what to do if they didn't make it back on time. At one point Buttons came out of the venue and then returned holding 3 beers with his phone between his ear and his shoulder and everything was slipping lmaoo (I teased him about it later and he was like AAAAA YOU SAW THAT buddy we all saw you walked right past us).

*The show itself was so good, seemingly they're adapting as they go to see what works best for a live show, so they had us vote on the best headline rather than going through all 3 (Buttons won and he got to talk about hollow earth theory) though they did briefly talk about the others, I can't remember Dan's but Rhys' was about the world's longest shoelace lmao. They're also doing a thing where Dan describes an obscure cryptid and Rhys draws it and then they compare it with an actual image, so Rhys had to draw the Dildo Monster which is just a monster from a lake called Dildo, but when poor Buttons was looking up an image for comparison he could only find monster dildos 😭😭😭 he was also wary because his laptop's connected to his work but Rhys reassured him dildos are legal now 😭😭😭

*As always, Buttons was the butt-monkey of the night, e.g. at one point the mics went funny and Rhys joked it was government interference and got them to put shot glasses on their heads like tin foil hats, only Buttons forgot he hadn't drunk his yet so poured whisky on his head. Also en route to Loch Ness they stayed in a "castle" (gatehouse near a castle) but it was only 2 bedroom so Buttons took the sofa and had a lot of weird dreams and claimed he was being haunted by a lounge ghost. Also he was wearing a striped shirt and Rhys kept saying he looked like a prisoner and at one point called him his special little Hamburglar.

Dan was in a gorilla suit the whole night (the aim was bigfoot) and during the show he joked he lost a bet, but afterwards he told us that was a lie and he'd just wanted to wear it. On the way out, he and Buttons were handing out exclusive pins, I got mine from Dan and he commented on my m*a*s*h shirt saying it was his favourite show ever (a win for me, a person with the media taste of a middle aged man).

About 10 minutes after the show, they all came out to say hi. I heard Buttons tends to stay the longest and Rhys leaves the earliest lol so I made Rhys my priority and just kind of milled around near him, he very clearly wanted to go to dinner lmaooo but signed some stuff and took some selfies (I jumped on my chance to ask for a selfie, and also told him I loved his shirt, which he later told someone else he bought after seeing a facebook ad, classic middle aged behaviour). Then we all got the group pics and Rhys and Buttons left for dinner.

Dan stuck around for aaages though, he said he could do with some fresh air after being in the car so much lol, so we just stood in a circle while he talked about stuff. Including how Buttons is a genius who basically got Jacinda Ardern elected bc she was super low in the popularity polls when she asked him to be her campaign manager and he came up with everything for her campaign, and how they remain super close and fucking do Christmas together and all sorts. He basically just talked about how great and smart Buttons is despite how zany he comes across. Also unrelated idk how this came up but he asked what a himbo is and we had to explain it to him lmaoooo.

At one point he said he liked my mothman sweatshirt I'd just put on (it was windy and chilly as fuck lmaoo I was promised 18 degree weather!) but he still preferred the m*a*s*h shirt, and we talked about m*a*s*h for a while - one other person joined in, RIP to everyone else. He said when he was a kid in Hong Kong he used to tape record episodes and listen to them on the bus. He also asked if it's aged okay lol and we talked about the misogyny in it for a bit but how aside from some stuff in the early days it mostly aged fine, and I gave him some trivia ahaha.

Anyway we later moved over to a table near the heat lamps which were sorely needed, and he said something about texting the boys, and to my great surprise Buttons and Rhys returned from dinner and joined us at the table. Buttons was soooo friendly, Rhys was a bit more reserved but chill (definitely more comfortable with the lads sitting with him though) and there was one person sitting between me and him who was getting him talking and I got to listen in and nod along and act like I was part of the conversation lol. He was talking about how he's writing a new stand up show and how the tv/film industry is so fucked atm that he may be taking a step back from it (he'll take roles if he gets them but wants to focus on other stuff) and how his last tour helped him fall in love with stand-up again which is super nice. He also talked about the travel show he filmed with the Hoff (the one that isn't coming out bc the company's dodgy) and how the Hoff was difficult to work with lol, and it was basically a weird experience overall.

Buttons loved my mothman sweatshirt and asked where I got it, I had to look it up but when I showed him the website he took my phone, so now my phone is Touched By Buttons, what a treat! He was also talking about how he wanted to get a tattoo while he was here but hadn't had a chance, and asked the person next to me where she got her ink done. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted but I believe he went on to say he's getting a friend to design a family coat of arms so might get that (and joked about tying his family down and forcing them to all get it too lmaooo).

Also while I'm linking Jode's tweets I'm sure you've all seen this video she filmed after spotting Rhys from a distance and then seeing the others, but they've all seen it and think it's hilarious and Dan asked her to DM it to him 😭

At the end, Buttons took a bunch of group selfies which should end up on the discord, I hope they do bc I need photographic evidence of this encounter and also they were super cute pics (and I was right near Rhys in them ahaha).

Aaaaand I think that's it! I'm sure I'll remember more stuff down the line, and there were parts I excluded bc they were interactions with other people I don't really know and don't want to just post about when it's their anecdotes to tell (for the record pretty much everyone there was a stranger to me but they were all super lovely and we had great chats even after the guys had left, just good vibes all round) but it was truly a crazy night, I wasn't expecting any of them to stay all that long after a whole day of Loch Ness and travelling, and certainly wasn't expecting the two that went for dinner to come back (especially Rhys lol) so I was super fucking lucky. Sweetest men ever 💕

got drinks with rhys, dan & buttons last night btw 🫠🫠🫠

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